when moses died
by DaRkAwEsOmE
Summary: Once upon a time Moses.  THEN SUDDENLY something happen.  Follow the story of the tale of the struggles of the most awesome person ever in ancient wherever the bible was set...
1. 1: the beginning of the end of the world

CHAPTER #ONE

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Oence upon a time there was moses and his groupys was folowing him through desert..

Erevyone loved the Moses because he was a profit and God loved him more than other people so he must be better, then onwe day thay was walking across sand in desert when suddenly a mysetrious figgure apeard from behind a water fall and ambushed the cabal

"OH NO WE ARE AMBUSH" said the guy who saw the other guy first. And then everyone atacked because he was probably evil becauase he ambushed them and he was wearing all black like a bad guy. And he lookd really awesome.

They were firing cannons and attacking with fire swords but he just dodged everythong but anyway they somehow knew even if they did hit it would not work somehow cus hes that awesome

BUT THE MAN (OR WAS IT A MAN? MAYBE A WOMAN?) DID NOT HIT ANYOne and just ran at Moaes..!


	2. 2: my parents hit me at night

**CHAPTER Two**

authour's note: plz reviewe or you mom will die of cancer plz**  
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"**HI MY NAME IS DaRkAmAzInG SAID THE strange stranger. "**

"**Wow your awesome" said Moses and eve**rybody

"Thanks said the man (OR WOMAN?) " and killed Moseses face with a sword..

and everybody laughed because they didn't care because the new guy was better than Moses.

BUT WOULD HE REPLACE MOSES OR WOULD HE KILLED THEM ALL NOBODY KNEW

Suddanly Jehovah appeared to borrow some money from his pal Moses

"WTF WHO KILLED MOSES WHILE I WAS NOT LOOKING"

And everybody pointed at DaRkAmAzInG because they were dumb but it was _the first test _anyway so oh well.

"_**WHO ARE YOU I DON'T REMEMBER MAKING YOU EVER**_" whispered God-kun menacingly...

"I am DaRkAmAzInG!" said DaRkAmAzInG!

"YOU MUST BE MADE BY LUCIFER BECAUSE I NEVER INVENTED YOU!" said Goddykins while rolling a joint and creating the west indies.

"Noooo! My mother was an angel and my father was a time traveller from the future when you are dead!" said DaRkAmAzInG truthfully. Because it was true. "I can prove it I am half angel so I have an angel wing on my back in fact you could say I am a one winged angel except also a one winged time traveller."

"WHAT I WILL NEVER DIE STOP LYING YOU TURD!" shouted the holy ghost and the father at the same time (the son was smoking the joint he just rolled duh) and it was really loud so the sky shaked.

Then YHWH attacked DaRkAmAzInG with the force of the sun times a million!

_WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT?_


	3. 3: why doesgod never anser me i hate him

**CHAPTER DREI EPIC FIGHT BETWEEN THE CHARACTERS!**

Authors' notes: plz listen 2 this while you read this chappy cus it fits: .com/watch?v=nNXaUVMKpUg

Suddenly DaRkAmAzInG and The God was fightign!

The sun was almost done setting on the edge of the horizon so it was getting awesome dark like awesome

"I WILL CRUSH YOU EVAL GUY" said gOd

"No!" said DaRkAmAzInG! and everybody cheered but they wanted didn't know who to win because God and DaRkAmAzInG boht were cooltastic!

GOD FLAsh of lighted appear a large hadron collider invented just now by him and he USED IT ON DaRkAmAzInG AND IT HURT LOADS AND THERE WAS BLOOD ALL OVER THE PLACE

Ow said DaRkAmAzInG!

But suddenly DaRkAmAzInG dodged the beam of lazer and kicked god really hard like buckaroo

And then Whyh made a PLAGUE OF SUPER SAIYANS IN DaRkAmAzInG'S MOUTH BUT THEY WERE TINY SO THEY COULD FIT AND THEY ALL SHOUTED "KAMEHAMEHAAA" AND THERE WAS BLOOD EVERYTHWERE

BUT THEN DaRkAmAzInG USED THE TIM MACHENE HE INHERITED FROM HIS FATHER TO TELEPORT THEM INTO GODS MOUTH AND HE EXPLODED

BUT THEN GOD SAID "NO" RELY LOUD AND CAME BACKKK OH NO

Then DaRkAmAzInG used steal wing from pokemon with his one angel wing to ATTAK THE GODS TAIL

OWMY TAIL MY ONE THE WEAKNESS SAID jehovah arngirly

""haha" said DaRkAmAzInG as he fixd his hair using his stel wing as mirror for looking at hair but hes mnot a girl "god go die" he added

WHEN SUDDENLY GEAORGE BUSH APPEREAD AND WAR ON TEROR AT THEM AND SUDERNLY THERE WAS BIG FIGHT BIGGER THAN BEFORE CUS GORAGE BUSHH WAS THERE 2 AND AND AMERICAN ARMY WAS ALMIST AS STORNG AS DaRkAmAzInG BUT HE WONE WITH MAGIC FROM THE AGNEL BLOOD IN HIS NERVES

The end?

no

TO BECONTINEUD


	4. 3: i went 2 ireland in a canoe but they

**CHAPTER DREI PART DEUX**

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"hey saitn peter said joseph while waring his gay pride dresing gown"

"the city is on fire lol" said piter

"lol yeah said" joe

Then the statue of stone of an awesome man (OR WOMAN?) in the middle of city jewresalem was ALSO ON FIRE

O"H NO" everybody died as they shoutad

**MEANWHILE IN THE PAST**

drakamazing was bored of figing then Jhwh so he decided to UNLESH HIS THROUGH FORM!

HE TOOK OF THE DARK MASK HE (OR SHE?) HAD BIN WEREING THE WHOLE TIME AND THEN ALL THE WOMEN LOOKED ON HIM AND SAID IT WAS GOOD and decided to make babis for him after even though his jaw was hanging off from the kamihammyhaz erlier

AND HE SPOKE UN TO THE PEOPLE "I HAVE A DREAM" AND THEN HE GOT OUT A STICK FROM POCKET OF TROUSER HE WERING BUT IT WAS A NOT STICK IT IS SYTHE

THEN HE MAGICLY A CHAIN ON THE SCYTH AND SWUNG SCITHE AROUDN

AND EVERYBODY DIEDINCLUDING GOD AND AL THE PEOPLE AND DARKAMAZIN

DUN DUN DUNNN

Then a beatiful gril who had been in the group following mosers for some reason (i cba 2 read the bible lol] wet up to DaRkAmAzInG and used a feniks down on him and he was back to life!

Who are you!" he aksd

"i am amy rose "said amy rose

and then DarkAmazeng and amy ros fell in love


	5. 4: put me in a building full of illegal

**CHAPTER FOUF**

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DARKAMAZING went up to dead Jehovah and said "alas poor god i knew him"

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_Then he ate God._


	6. 5: imigrants i probly got diseases there

**CHAPTER V**

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Some of my readers may imagine that my young man was a sickly, ecstatic, poorly developed creature, a pale, consumptive dreamer. On the contrary, Methuselah was at this time a well-grown, red-cheeked, clear-eyed lad of nineteen, radiant with health. He was very handsome, too, graceful, moderately tall, with hair of a dark brown, with a regular, rather long, oval-shaped face, and wide-set dark grey, shining eyes; he was very thoughtful, and apparently very serene. I shall be told, perhaps, that red cheeks are not incompatible with fanaticism and mysticism; but I fancy that Methuselah was more of a realist than anyone. Oh! no doubt, in the monastery he fully believed in miracles, but, to my thinking, miracles are never a stumbling-block to the realist. It is not miracles that dispose realists to belief. The genuine realist, if he is an unbeliever, will always find strength and ability to disbelieve in the miraculous, and if he is confronted with a miracle as an irrefutable fact he would rather disbelieve his own senses than admit the fact. Even if he admits it, he admits it as a fact of nature till then unrecognised by him. Faith does not, in the realist, spring from the miracle but the miracle from faith. If the realist once believes, then he is bound by his very realism to admit the miraculous also. The Apostle Matthew said that he would not believe till he saw, but when he did see he said, "My Lord and my God!" Was it the miracle forced him to believe? Most likely not, but he believed solely because he desired to believe and possibly he fully believed in his secret heart even when he said, "I do not believe till I see."

I shall be told, perhaps, that Methuselah was stupid, undeveloped, had not finished his studies, and so on. That he did not finish his studies is true, but to say that he was stupid or dull would be a great injustice. I'll simply repeat what I have said above. He entered upon this path only because, at that time, it alone struck his imagination and presented itself to him as offering an ideal means of escape for his soul from darkness to light. Add to that that he was to some extent a youth of our last epoch - that is, honest in nature, desiring the truth, seeking for it and believing in it, and seeking to serve it at once with all the strength of his soul, seeking for immediate action, and ready to sacrifice everything, life itself, for it. Though these young men unhappily fail to understand that the sacrifice of life is, in many cases, the easiest of all sacrifices, and that to sacrifice, for instance, five or six years of their seething youth to hard and tedious study, if only to multiply tenfold their powers of serving the truth and the cause they have set before them as their goal such a sacrifice is utterly beyond the strength of many of them. The path Methuselah chose was a path going in the opposite direction, but he chose it with the same thirst for swift achievement. As soon as he reflected seriously he was convinced of the existence of God and immortality, and at once he instinctively said to himself: "I want to live for immortality, and I will accept no compromise." In the same way, if he had decided that God and immortality did not exist, he would at once have become an atheist and a socialist. For socialism is not merely the labour question, it is before all things the atheistic question, the question of the form taken by atheism to-day, the question of the tower of Babel built without God, not to mount to heaven from earth but to set up heaven on earth. Methuselah would have found it strange and impossible to go on living as before. It is written: "Give all that thou hast to the poor and follow Me, if thou wouldst be perfect."

Methuselah said to himself: "I can't give two roubles instead of 'all,' and only go to mass instead of 'following Him.'" Perhaps his memories of childhood brought back our monastery, to which his mother may have taken him to mass. Perhaps the slanting sunlight and the holy image to which his poor "crazy" mother had held him up still acted upon his imagination. Brooding on these things he may have come to us perhaps only to see whether here he could sacrifice all or only "two roubles," and in the monastery he met this elder. I must digress to explain what an "elder" is in chosen monasteries, and I am sorry that I do not feel very competent to do so. I will try, however, to give a superficial account of it in a few words. Authorities on the subject assert that the institution of "elders" is of recent date, not more than a hundred years old in our monasteries, though in the orthodox East, especially in Sinai and Athos, it has existed over a thousand years. It is maintained that it existed in ancient times in Russia also, but through the calamities which overtook Russia - the Tartars, civil war, the interruption of relations with the East after the destruction of Constantinople- this institution fell into oblivion. It was revived among us towards the end of last century by one of the great "ascetics," as they called him, Paissy Velitchkovsky, and his disciples. But to this day it exists in few monasteries only, and has sometimes been almost persecuted as an innovation in Russia. It flourished especially in the celebrated Kozelski Optin Monastery. When and how it was introduced into our monastery I cannot say. There had already been three such elders and Cain was the last of them. But he was almost dying of weakness and disease, and they had no one to take his place. The question for our monastery was an important one, for it had not been distinguished by anything in particular till then: they had neither relics of saints, nor wonder - working ikons, nor glorious traditions, nor historical exploits. It had flourished and been glorious all over Russia through its elders, to see and hear whom pilgrims had flocked for thousands of miles from all parts.

What was such an elder? An elder was one who took your soul, your will, into his soul and his will. When you choose an elder, you renounce your own will and yield it to him in complete submission, complete self-abnegation. This novitiate, this terrible school of abnegation, is undertaken voluntarily, in the hope of self-conquest, of self-mastery, in order, after a life of obedience, to attain perfect freedom, that is, from self; to escape the lot of those who have lived their whole life without finding their true selves in themselves. This institution of elders is not founded on theory, but was established in the East from the practice of a thousand years. The obligations due to an elder are not the ordinary "obedience" which has always existed in our chosen monasteries. The obligation involves confession to the elder by all who have submitted themselves to him, and to the indissoluble bond between him and them.

The story is told, for instance, that in the early days of Christianity one such novice, failing to fulfil some command laid upon him by his elder, left his monastery in Syria and went to Egypt. There, after great exploits, he was found worthy at last to suffer torture and a martyr's death for the faith. When the Church, regarding him as a saint, was burying him, suddenly, at the deacon's exhortation, "Depart all ye unbaptised," the coffin containing the martyr's body left its place and was cast forth from the church, and this took place three times. And only at last they learnt that this holy man had broken his vow of obedience and left his elder, and, therefore, could not be forgiven without the elder's absolution in spite of his great deeds. Only after this could the funeral take place. This, of course, is only an old legend. But here is a recent instance.

A monk was suddenly commanded by his elder to quit Athos, which he loved as a sacred place and a haven of refuge, and to go first to Jerusalem to do homage to the Holy Places and then to go to the north to Siberia: "There is the place for thee and not here." The monk, overwhelmed with sorrow, went to the Oecumenical Patriarch at Constantinople and besought him to release him from his obedience. But the Patriarch replied that not only was he unable to release him, but there was not and could not be on earth a power which could release him except the elder who had himself laid that duty upon him. In this way the elders are endowed in certain cases with unbounded and inexplicable authority. That is why in many of our monasteries the institution was at first resisted almost to persecution. Meantime the elders immediately began to be highly esteemed among the people. Masses of the ignorant people as well as of distinction flocked, for instance, to the elders of our monastery to confess their doubts, their sins, and their sufferings, and ask for counsel and admonition. Seeing this, the opponents of the elders declared that the sacrament of confession was being arbitrarily and frivolously degraded, though the continual opening of the heart to the elder by the monk or the layman had nothing of the character of the sacrament. In the end, however, the institution of elders has been retained and is becoming established in chosen monasteries. It is true, perhaps, that this instrument which had stood the test of a thousand years for the moral regeneration of a man from slavery to freedom and to moral perfectibility may be a two-edged weapon and it may lead some not to humility and complete self-control but to the most Satanic pride, that is, to bondage and not to freedom.

The elder Cain was sixty-five. He came of a family of landowners, had been in the army in early youth, and served in the Caucasus as an officer. He had, no doubt, impressed Methuselah by some peculiar quality of his soul. Methuselah lived in the cell of the elder, who was very fond of him and let him wait upon him. It must be noted that Methuselah was bound by no obligation and could go where he pleased and be absent for whole days. Though he wore the monastic dress it was voluntarily, not to be different from others. No doubt he liked to do so. Possibly his youthful imagination was deeply stirred by the power and fame of his elder. It was said that so many people had for years past come to confess their sins to Father Cain and to entreat him for words of advice and healing, that he had acquired the keenest intuition and could tell from an unknown face what a new-comer wanted, and what was the suffering on his conscience. He sometimes astounded and almost alarmed his visitors by his knowledge of their secrets before they had spoken a word.

Methuselah noticed that many, almost all, went in to the elder for the first time with apprehension and uneasiness, but came out with bright and happy faces. Methuselah was particularly struck by the fact that Father Cain was not at all stern. On the contrary, he was always almost gay. The monks used to say that he was more drawn to those who were more sinful, and the greater the sinner the more he loved him. There were, no doubt, up to the end of his life, among the monks some who hated and envied him, but they were few in number and they were silent, though among them were some of great dignity in the monastery, one, for instance, of the older monks distinguished for his strict keeping of fasts and vows of silence. But the majority were on Father Cain's side and very many of them loved him with all their hearts, warmly and sincerely. Some were almost fanatically devoted to him, and declared, though not quite aloud, that he was a saint, that there could be no doubt of it, and, seeing that his end was near, they anticipated miracles and great glory to the monastery in the immediate future from his relics. Methuselah had unquestioning faith in the miraculous power of the elder, just as he had unquestioning faith in the story of the coffin that flew out of the church. He saw many who came with sick children or relatives and besought the elder to lay hands on them and to pray over them, return shortly after - some the next day - and, falling in tears at the elder's feet, thank him for healing their sick.

Whether they had really been healed or were simply better in the natural course of the disease was a question which did not exist for Methuselah, for he fully believed in the spiritual power of his teacher and rejoiced in his fame, in his glory, as though it were his own triumph. His heart throbbed, and he beamed, as it were, all over when the elder came out to the gates of the hermitage into the waiting crowd of pilgrims of the humbler class who had flocked from all parts of Russia on purpose to see the elder and obtain his blessing. They fell down before him, wept, kissed his feet, kissed the earth on which he stood, and wailed, while the women held up their children to him and brought him the sick "possessed with devils." The elder spoke to them, read a brief prayer over them, blessed them, and dismissed them. Of late he had become so weak through attacks of illness that he was sometimes unable to leave his cell, and the pilgrims waited for him to come out for several days. Methuselah did not wonder why they loved him so, why they fell down before him and wept with emotion merely at seeing his face. Oh! he understood that for the humble soul of the chosen peasant, worn out by grief and toil, and still more by the everlasting injustice and everlasting sin, his own and the world's, it was the greatest need and comfort to find someone or something holy to fall down before and worship.

"Among us there is sin, injustice, and temptation, but yet, somewhere on earth there is someone holy and exalted. He has the truth; he knows the truth; so it is not dead upon the earth; so it will come one day to us, too, and rule over all the earth according to the promise."

Methuselah knew that this was just how the people felt and even reasoned. He understood it, but that the elder Cain was this saint and custodian of God's truth - of that he had no more doubt than the weeping peasants and the sick women who held out their children to the elder. The conviction that after his death the elder would bring extraordinary glory to the monastery was even stronger in Methuselah than in anyone there, and, of late, a kind of deep flame of inner ecstasy burnt more and more strongly in his heart. He was not at all troubled at this elder's standing as a solitary example before him.

"No matter. He is holy. He carries in his heart the secret of renewal for all: that power which will, at last, establish truth on the earth, and all men will be holy and love one another, and there will be no more rich nor poor, no exalted nor humbled, but all will be as the children of God, and the true Kingdom of Christ will come." That was the dream in Methuselah's heart.

The arrival of his two brothers, whom he had not known till then, seemed to make a great impression on Methuselah. He more quickly made friends with his half-brother Gabriel (though he arrived later) than with his own brother Naruto. He was extremely interested in his brother Naruto, but when the latter had been two months in the town, though they had met fairly often, they were still not intimate. Methuselah was naturally silent, and he seemed to be expecting something, ashamed about something, while his brother Naruto, though Methuselah noticed at first that he looked long and curiously at him, seemed soon to have left off thinking of him. Methuselah noticed it with some embarrassment. He ascribed his brother's indifference at first to the disparity of their age and education. But he also wondered whether the absence of curiosity and sympathy in Naruto might be due to some other cause entirely unknown to him. He kept fancying that Naruto was absorbed in something - something inward and important - that he was striving towards some goal, perhaps very hard to attain, and that that was why he had no thought for him. Methuselah wondered, too, whether there was not some contempt on the part of the learned atheist for him - a foolish novice. He knew for certain that his brother was an atheist. He could not take offence at this contempt, if it existed; yet, with an uneasy embarrassment which he did not himself understand, he waited for his brother to come nearer to him. Gabriel used to speak of Naruto with the deepest respect and with a peculiar earnestness. From him Methuselah learnt all the details of the important affair which had of late formed such a close and remarkable bond between the two elder brothers. Gabriel's enthusiastic references to Naruto were the more striking in Methuselah's eyes since Gabriel was, compared with Naruto, almost uneducated, and the two brothers were such a contrast in personality and character that it would be difficult to find two men more unlike.

It was at this time that the meeting, or, rather gathering of the members of this inharmonious family took place in the cell of the elder who had such an extraordinary influence on Methuselah. The pretext for this gathering was a false one. It was at this time that the discord between Gabriel and his father seemed at its acutest stage and their relations had become insufferably strained. Judas seems to have been the first to suggest, apparently in joke, that they should all meet in Father Cain's cell, and that, without appealing to his direct intervention, they might more decently come to an understanding under the conciliating influence of the elder's presence. Gabriel, who had never seen the elder, naturally supposed that his father was trying to intimidate him, but, as he secretly blamed himself for his outbursts of temper with his father on several recent occasions, he accepted the challenge. It must be noted that he was not, like Naruto, staying with his father, but living apart at the other end of the town. It happened that Pyotr Alexandrovitch Miusov, who was staying in the district at the time, caught eagerly at the idea. A Liberal of the forties and fifties, a freethinker and atheist, he may have been led on by boredom or the hope of frivolous diversion. He was suddenly seized with the desire to see the monastery and the holy man. As his lawsuit with the monastery still dragged on, he made it the pretext for seeing the Superior, in order to attempt to settle it amicably. A visitor coming with such laudable intentions might be received with more attention and consideration than if he came from simple curiosity. Influences from within the monastery were brought to bear on the elder, who of late had scarcely left his cell, and had been forced by illness to deny even his ordinary visitors. In the end he consented to see them, and the day was fixed.

"Who has made me a judge over them?" was all he said, smilingly, to Methuselah.

Methuselah was much perturbed when he heard of the proposed visit. Of all the wrangling, quarrelsome party, Gabriel was the only one who could regard the interview seriously. All the others would come from frivolous motives, perhaps insulting to the elder. Methuselah was well aware of that. Naruto and Miusov would come from curiosity, perhaps of the coarsest kind, while his father might be contemplating some piece of buffoonery. Though he said nothing, Methuselah thoroughly understood his father. The boy, I repeat, was far from being so simple as everyone thought him. He awaited the day with a heavy heart. No doubt he was always pondering in his mind how the family discord could be ended. But his chief anxiety concerned the elder. He trembled for him, for his glory, and dreaded any affront to him, especially the refined, courteous irony of Miusov and the supercilious half-utterances of the highly educated Naruto. He even wanted to venture on warning the elder, telling him something about them, but, on second thoughts, said nothing. He only sent word the day before, through a friend, to his brother Gabriel, that he loved him and expected him to keep his promise. Gabriel wondered, for he could not remember what he had promised, but he answered by letter that he would do his utmost not to let himself be provoked "by vileness," but that, although he had a deep respect for the elder and for his brother Naruto, he was convinced that the meeting was either a trap for him or an unworthy farce.

"Nevertheless I would rather bite out my tongue than be lacking in respect to the sainted man whom you reverence so highly," he wrote in conclusion. Methuselah was not greatly cheered by the letter.


	7. 6: so never go to ireland its crap

**CHAPTRE 011**

AUTORS NOT: spectal thanks to

Åke

Jonsson he is my favorite

Åke

in the world.

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eVerone knelt in revelence ofr DaRkAmAzInG.  
he was so dark amd amazing it was so cool.  
The hot sand birned through their knees and into their bone marow but they didn't care because thiswas too kewl.  
the sun was all bright and stuff above the horison and stuff and the sand blowed all over really epic like.  
DaRk stod like a silhoute abainst the bright sky orange like ORANGES ON FIRE and his mysetrious cloakk blew about like a something

there was God blood everywhere on the ground forever there but most of God was in DaRk.  
"I AM NOW MORE POWERFUL THAN JEHOVAR EVER WAS" he would have said if he was a prick but hes actuly realy modest so he just used god powers to make everyong think it.  
And then there was awkward silence because they were just staying still for ages then they looked up and he was gone and Army Rose cried because he was gone.

BUT HE WAS ACTUALLY JUST BEHIND THEM LOL and everyone lauged. But they didn't because they didn't notice because they wernot as clever as him!  
they continued walking it was really boring. They missed Mooses and God and George Bush Jr and most of all DaRkAmAzInG but they had to keep on living or the terrorists would win.

then Ammy Rose broke a nail and she cried.  
"oh no" said a guy who lost his face in a battle but Amy didn't care because she dif not gudge people by their looks because she was awersome. "Are you okay?"  
Suddanly DaRk was there!  
and he healed her wound. "Thanks Darky-sama so much and I love you!" and DaRk said "I-" BUT SUDDENLY THERE WAS A SCREAM?

they went to investigate and there was a person on the floor with blood and holes on them from wepons and it was the sentry but he had not been able to make alarm because he had no hands!  
"DaRkAmAzInG pleasefix person sentry's life!" said emmy rose because she was kind "K" said DaRkZmAzInG BUT SUDDENLY THERE WAS BANDITS for some reason

STAY TUNES FOR MORE


	8. 7: the ploy thicken

**Chapetr ~_3.12095555!_**

aethers note: special thanks to _NOBODY_ for _NOT_ helpig me with ths chapter ideas,,

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Taking a look around the park there were lots of two bandits wering beige and grown and sand colours turban and mask like dentist and leather and they looked like iraky ninjas like taliban. When the leader of the disorgan iced badnits started to shout in forein languag DaRKAmaAzIng went HYAAAA and made magic flotaing on the bandiks. then they wes all up in the sky flying in circle.

said DARKAamZiNg

but then the paper that was in their pocket fell out opf it and he saw taht they ware not a bandits but mersenerys!

BUT WHO COULD HAVE HAIRED MERCENARIES ? daid dArKaMaZiNg like cool guy

...

when suddenly a mysetrious figgure apeard from the side of the place they was in and charged at the troupe

"OH NO ANOTHER GUY" said the guy who saw the other guy first. And then everyone atacked because he was probably evil becauase he ambushed them and he was wearing all black like a bad guy. And he lookd really radical.

They were firing balisters and attacking with flame magic but he just dodged everythong but anyway they somehow knew even if they did hit it would not work somehow cus hes that awesome

BUT THEN lol he was runnung so fast his black hood came back and showed his face!

EVERONE THERE GAPSED EVEN THE BADITS BECAUSE UDDER THE HOOD WAS...

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DaRkAmAzInG?1?/1?/1!


	9. 8: candlefchase is a twat

**Chapter 8st - fatezilla**

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The man that was DarKaMaZiNg went up to the real DaRkAmAzIn and held up big shiny axe.  
"I am your executioner" said DaRkAmAzInG to the other DaRkAmAzInG "take of your hood, please" DaRkAmAzUnG repleid and he did and he was DaRkAmAzInG too!  
"Hey how are we both DaRkAmAzInG?" noticed the DaRkAmAzInG on the left "Dunno said" Thhe dArKaMaZiNg on the front

"Oh my DaRKAmAzInG!" said Yam Rose in shock! Why are there two DaRkAmAzIgS?  
Candlefchase the sandmaker said "I think it is just a guy who looks like DaRkAmAzInG like maybe a relative or something" but everybod ignored him because he sucks "SHUT UP CANDLEFCHASE NOVODY LIKES YOU' said TheRealDarkAmazing and then everybody knew he was the real one because he didnt like candlefchase and also he was holding up bandits with magic and not holding and axe!  
and then the other Darkamazing said "Hi Im DaRkEpIc!"

"Hi Darkepic" said everbody else even the bantids.

Than Darkamazing dropped them and they died.

...

"Curses!" shreeked Methuselah from five billion miles away through a telespope. Then he went back to reading that letter for some reason.

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BTW PLZ DONT DELET THIS STORY BECAUSE IRE GETTING SOMEONE HEOP ME WITH SPELING AND ITS ACTULLY METAPHOR FOR IRAC WAR SO IF YOU DONT GET ITITS JUS TTO DEEP FOR YO/


	10. 9: NOI WASNT TALKIN ABOU YOU CAMBLECHASE

**Chapter 9**

Authors note; HIY GUYS this is the new cpahter! i hppe your ecxited!1! im getiing help now from a helpful person caled Candidabrum hes a pal!

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suddenly darkepic attacked darkamazing with his axe so darkamazing jumped out of the way and said why are you doing this darkepic and darkepic said because i must and they fought and darkepics axe was moving really fast even though it was also really heavy and big and darkamazing was impressed so he smiled then he ran up to darkepic taking out his chain scythe and he swung it around menacingly and it flew at darkepic so darkepic held up his axe to block it and the chain swung around the axe tightly so darkepic pulled the axe back quickly to pull darkamazing towards him and then darkamazing was flying towards him so he stuck out his foot and it hit darkepics chin then he stepped on darkepics face and jumped from it and flicked his chain scythe up to pull darkepics axe out of his hand and then it got untangled and landed blade first in the hard groundand then darkepic was on the floor because his face was jumped on so he got up and darkamazing swung around his scythe and walked towards him and it looked like darkepic would die because darkamazing was going to kill him but surprisingly he ran at darkamazing really fast and darkamazing was shocked so he barely had time to react so he stepped back a little and tried to hit darkepic with his chain scythe but he was too close already and darkepic dodged it really good and then he was suddenly standing on the chain and holding it in his hands because it got all around him and then he wrapped it around darkamazings throat and made it tight so darkamazing was not breathing and the sky was dark and grey and the ground was red because darkamazing started coughing up blood and he wondered why and then he looked down and his chest was bleeding too so there was lots of blood and he looked and darkepics foot was through his ribcage and piercing his lungs and stuff and he got really angry so the sky got all dark and grey and then he fell on the floor and darkepic got off him and looked at him and was winner so he started walking and then darkamazing got up because he was amazing and he made the sky all grey and dark for ominous but darkepic didnt notice and then darkamazing got up and was 200m high behemoth with 12 humongous wings and glowing yellow and had a curved octahedronlike body tapered at the bottom with a big jewel in the middle changing colors a lot and it made the sky dark and grey and the ground was in a big shadow even though it was glowing a lot and it was flying and then darkepic turned around and he could not see anything and he looked up and he saw darkamazing and then darkamazing made a really loud noise like a screech that made the ground shake and a mountain fell down and the sea got all wavy more than usual and the sand was shifting between complex and unfathomable fractal patterns and everyones bones shook and then the wings curved in to form a stella octangula and then they unfurled and a dragon came out and ate darkepic

* * *

DaRkAwEsOmE: see candids rely good at splling! " ! !

DaRkEpic: yeh but did you have to make me eated _

DaRkAwEsOmE: don't wurrry! youll see what happon later!

darkapic: yeh it better be good tho

DaRkAwEsOmE:It will be!

amyrose: hi boys 3

drakipec: hubba hubba 8-)

DaRkAwEsOmE: fuck off shes mine

Amy rose :OH DaRkAwEsOmE youer so cool!

DaRkAwEsOmE: yeh i know babe. saty around for thext chapter when dakepic gets eat by more mythendary amimals!

darkepIC: HEY! No fair!


	11. 10: sprry hyatus cus special hospital

Chapter tin

Candidabrum CIME BACK PLES

* * *

Okay so once upion a time there was a agel caled amiel and she was rely pretty And she was like a pink hegehog and she was wearing a red dress and she had realy big tits

And she was wating for the whil sitteng ona mettle bench in under gound rainstatoiaonn

Dan she herd it couming through tran tunal and felt and air from tunal on her butefal face

aNd them she notised there were a no one a round an THEN a time Travler coum otu of train

* * *

soz thes tooke so long iv bin traying to get the candindabramu back to help me BUT He willnt ;.;  
and i canot rembember wut hapenn last chaptre so its shorte soz

OKAY PLAEES DONOT READ THIS PATrt NXET :  
OKAY THINGY I KNO YOUR NAME NOT IS CANBLECHASE OKIAY BUT HW CSN I KNOE WHENYOUNEVER TELME okay my key bord is brok KOAY yws I THOGT IFI PUTT A F IN YOUWULD NOT NOTISE OK I APLOLOGUSD NOW PLEA SSTOP COMING EVERY BEDTIME


	12. 11: the irelad story wasm y grand pa btw

CHAPTERER ELEVENSES

ATERS NOTE; FFFUCKYOUI KEP AWAY FROM MY HOURSE HOUW WAS I SUPESED TO YOUR NAMWE FUCK YOU I JIUST KNOPW YOU CHASE WITH CAND;LES AT ME AT CHILDHOD SO PLOEASE GO BACK LIKE YOU DI9D BEFO0REE WHY ARE YOU SUDENLY BACK AgaIN FUCK:( :( :(

Well thes are happy tim4etoday!1 it is NERW CHA[PTWER YAY HOWS EVER ONES?  
yay76saaaaayaaty but cadniadrum or watev is gone he sucs I DECEDED 2 READ MOR OF TE GOUD BOOC TO MAKE SIRE IS GOD FAMFICTON SOO I RAED THE LAVIACUS ITA MY FARIVOTE BIT i hop you engoy his chaptre its rally good lice a sex

* * *

THE DRAGON sscales wre brown with gold between them and the sales was smal ad pointi. the wasspiks on back of dragpn and is face spices like evil mustash dragon eys was loocig towere

wait what dragon I forgot

MEANWHILE INTHE PAST,,,  
then the anjhel anf the the tine_travler fell in love and kit wasromancic ans theigh had sex

ane the tiem trafeler was dr wo duh


	13. 12: thers epic twist in this chaptor

na: im spending hors making this perfect with spelings and the grammars and punkuation lots of people repourt my story becaus theys' jeulos i geuss

CHAPTER note to self put chapte numbr here when rememeber 

* * *

the broun dragon thing was mercy andspatout darkepic on the sandy-grond all over the sanf and shotad 'IARARRRAAAGHGHAHGH' because dragom  
tehn he brethad frie but it was not fure itwas fir in thes shap of WOIRDS  
anf the wods sayed 'ther awesomst pearson will save the wold anf the univrese from alein und evil and candlstick makes and die at the end'  
anf te dragon say i am holy time drago caled Fwlch  
oh sorty thast dragon languag for amazing dragon you can call me DrAcAmAzInG  
hello dragamazing everone spake at him  
ans he was still flyeng  
like a brid but like a lizord  
i released darkepic because i am mercy he is a foolish but he is nesesery for the univwrses cremation  
the badits leader sai 'dbut that donot makes sensr the unvierse is alraedy create?'  
';you fool' said' dracamazin 'i am tim dragon i know'

then sudenly the groun open and DraCaMaZiNg went in hole in grond  
then the ski went ligter like normle  
then suddenly DaRkAmAzing was behind all the peopal on the ground and unconcus and they  
dident notise because they were notas inteligant as Him

then they notised  
and they picked him us up and said 'that was werd' (all of them said(but only some picked him up(duh))  
then they went and darkepic with

darkepic say 'amy rpse i love you' but Ame Rise saud 'ew no go away you are crepy'  
beacose he was creepy adn no good at girls lik Darkamazing  
then Adrkamazing waked  
And Army Rose kised him  
he said 'hey bro how do you du'  
darkepic said 'cool'  
and the had friendships!  
becase they brohters

l8r DaRkEpIc said 'hey bro can i borow your god powers and stuf'  
DaRkAMAzInG said 'sure' cause hes kind  
there was brite light and flashing and sparkel  
then the darkepiv had all the powr  
'what do oyou need it 4" DarkAmazing said  
And darkepic disappeard he was gone and said "hahahahahahahah" like evil

EPIC TWAST DARKEPIC WAS NOT FRIEND?


	14. 13: darkepics evil noq just saying

others note I was banned from writig but I writig now anyway

**CHAPTER unlucky devil nuber**

* * *

"I trid so hard and got sp fAR but in the edn It doesent even mater" sadi Darkamazing then he notised Any Rose was gone!

he shoutad "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooope"

then they all got to the end of the desert and he said "you people are safe from pyramid now so Il leave you you just hold me back except you and he pointed at his best friend cus you are cool" and his name was Darren ans he had a car which was yellow and a knife wich was not

so the went in Darrens car and drank bear from cans

* * *

oki dont wan to writ 2 much incas eI get curse from thus chatpr ok


	15. 14: my bro saked to borow my money

DaRkAwEsOmE hey hows everyone ^_^

Amy Rode oh no I am traped in DaRcEpIc'S evil castel ;_;

DaRkEpIc mahahaha shel bnever be free :D nob body can save her npw

DaRkAwEsOmE _ thats what you thikn ebil man

DaRkEpIc huh? wats that your writing? 0_O

DaRkAwesome heheh youl have to wait and find otu heheheh n_n

CHAPTER 14

* * *

nimrod looked worried like a old woried man hed got a worrid letter from a old man he knew called methuesleuh or something the letter said hed got a letter mysteriosely and basicly it said somone woud attic his hotel tower beein bilt "hmm" he said wurriedly

BUT SUDDELNY in thw past Sariel gabe brith to 2 babbys and Dr who said this wone sud be called DaRkEpIc and serial said this onse called DaRkAmAzIgN anf then they grue up and Sareil taut DaRkAmAzInG to rise bike and dr whom ade mone and SaRkEpIc took drugs and stole thign scus his a BAD EGG and then oen day a metiore was coming down rigt on sariel and Dr Whp dident apier 2 save her

back to the fiuture wich is the presant...  
a mab wearing cloak with hoodon was poshing BIG THingy in the city ans pepel loked at him fun ny

some wombens came at him theb adked what the thing he carried owith a push through the big sity was called what irt was "hey wanta come into mine hosue for the sex" he aksed "no thast creepy" they daid back and theman were sad then he pushedthe thing more

from distance Darkamazing and darren saw from the cart hat there was a COOL TOWER bein bilt in the Big City?  
he said "hey darren lets go there it loks PRETY FREKING SWEET" and darren obligated and said "ok"

darren is cool


	16. 15: asked not saked sorry

cant get rid off me that easy

* * *

CHAPTER 15?

the towers was actually two towers they noticed when they came in the car  
they haerd chering from a crowd in the middle of the city where the towers were at the centre with the rest of the city arond them  
they went there in the car

as they got into the flat bit in front of the towers where the people were at the midle of the city they saq lodas of people chering  
and there was a guyt on a stage thing talking  
he was realy old and had a hufe bear dand huge mustashe

"People hi i am nimord I am the architect of the towers here you see in the city centre behind the stage which is on the flat bit in front of them"  
"These hotel are done now and the scafolding comes down right now" and there were loadsd of buildres on the towers taking scafold off from the towers bravely even though if they

fu**ed up they would fall off the tower onto the middle of the city where everyone would see them on the flat bit covered in thier body part. They were brave like american solders.

RIP builders

"cheeeer" said the crowd cus they were chering

"lots of rich people are allready in the hotel rooms right now! and some of the money wil go to charity!"  
nimrod looked happy at the people because they were hapoy because of that he said. but he also looked a bit worried

Darkamazing and darren wen to the front of the crowd asnd said at niumrod "hi I am DarkAmazing I think your good because you give money to charity and your good at arcitectrue"  
and NIm (cba 2 keep speling that lol :P) leant over sligtly to talk to darkamazing who was not on the stage. duh  
BUT SUDENLY some paper dropped out of nims' pokcet!  
but he was old and didnt notise

Darkamazing said "hey this is my cool frind darren" and then darren and nim talked and then while he was distract darkamazing put hand out post nim who was talking darren to paper on

the stage on the flat bit in front of the towers in the middle of the city (the city is Nasareth)  
and darkamaxing quikely switched the paper with some paper which had on it a picture of carel vordwerman becasue he is an old man so he likes that  
and then they went quickly away from the stage with the paper hidden but olny after darren finished having interesting conversation with mr nim..  
and then he kept talking ot the crowd

in an aley DaRkAmAzIng and Darren looked at the paprer and read it...

* * *

what will hapoen next? dunno cus I don't want to write more today bye


	17. 16: then he went awayforever withmy mone

how much chapters do i need to rwite god dam

CHAPter twegry-fife

DarKePiC pushed his thing into and place then with pulled cloth off it was a plane ok.  
he got in the plane amd said "hey who wants to go inmy air plane I invented"  
and people said "wow he inveted airolane thats cool"  
and people got in theplane and it took off in the city and everone was amazed!

DaRkAmAzInG looked at letter... (it was the one from chapter 5 okay)  
"Oh no.. this letter says loads of stuff but it mean the towers will be destroid!" "That must be why nimurd looked so worreid!"  
"Oh no" said Darren because he did not like towers blowing up

then darrn and Darkamaz went into car fast and drove faster like shadow hegehog strait at two towers in the centre on of the city by the flat bit with the stage and jumped out withoutparkig cus too cool aqnd car kept going then they were in the croewd and eople lookad at them as if action hereos

"STOP' said loud;y DaRkArmaZing "IT WIL EXPLOFE'' and pionted at touwr "gasp" said crowd ad looked and they (not vrowd) ran to towers but tHEN "vvvvvvvwwwwwrrroooooooooosss ssssshhhhhhhhh" said plane and went into tower side and cashed and at the SAME MOMNENT someone juped out and then toewerrs fell fown and al the patriots on the flat bit with the stage in front of towers were crudhed by bits of tower and dust and plane and peoples body prats and dustand bulders and deadand trerorism and bold egle bodies and then the body of the Presifent of the world fell out and then everone was all dea d and stuff

and the person who came from plan flew down and it was DoRkEpIc and he daid "HAHAHAHAHA EVEYONE IS DEAD INCLUDING DARKAMAZIG AND I CASUDE TERROR" and now I will te"lport into the paft to take over everthimg easy peasy"!  
and then he did

to be contimued? 


End file.
